I had been under the great burden of guilt and regret for not spending more time with my 4 year old daughter, Sophia. She is such an amazing little being. Is it wrong of me to want her to stay so little, so innocent, so delicious...so unjaded, so fearless, so curious about everything that is around her (people, books, music, art, tv, computers, animals, instruments, water, whatever it is I'm doing or Daddy is doing, ) so happy, so delicate yet so resilient and so loving of all things living...I love the smell of her hair, the feel of her smooth, cute, delightful little cheeks when I kiss her over and over again. I love the feel of her small arms thrown around my neck as she tackles me with precious hugs when I return home from a long day at work and how the sound of her absolutely adorable voice can just melt away any anxieties or ruminations about my day seeing patients.
I don't want to live with or look back upon my life with regret. Nothing productive occurs as a result of this regret and guilt. It is only wasting my time and energy and even taking away from my enjoyment of time spent with Sophia if it comes to mind while I am playing with her!
I focus now upon the PRESENT and upon the JOY I experience now with Sophia and the many more moments I will have to cherish in the years to come.